Today a homeless polar bear,
famous for soda commercials and children’s toys,
was arrested for attempted assault and rape
in Lincoln Park.
Now for those of you that are old
Enough to remember him,
he was quite popular.
Brand name cereal, bed sheets, boy and girl clothing.
As he was being escorted to the police cruiser,
He had nothing to say to reporters.
He hid his face from cameras with a sports coat
His action figures are being burnt in suburban mounds
And his daytime TV show has been cancelled
He is expected to be released this afternoon,
due to he fact his fans are preventing the orderly functions of the
police station with their protests.
He’ll be thrown out of jail with nothing
and will always be hounded by others,
for his sexual weakness
and his life failures.
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